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My name is Vivien Harmon. My only occupation is to my Husband and my Daughter, they mean everything to me. I would do anything for them. The truth is I'm still trying to get back to reality, no matter how long it takes. Slowly but surely...
It would be a lie, if Vivien had said that she didn’t jump when Tate had made himself known. She hadn’t seen him in a while and she didn’t really know is she was ready to see him… but she would have to bite the bullet and talk to him, she would have to do it eventually, even if she didn’t want to.
”No, I’m not lost.” She paused and looked around the basement, trying to locate him, it was quite difficult in the darkness. However, it was quite easier than she would of thought, the light from the top of the stairs was igniting him with light, and he stuck out like a sore thumb.
”I’m just checking around, and seeing what changes they made to the house, it seems like they made some changes in the living and dining room, can’t say that I like it all that much.” She was trying to be civil, she wasn’t in the mood for screaming and shouting and she would like some time in the house to stay that way, it always seemed better that way. Much more natural.
“They made no changes here.” Tate wondered why she was looking into the changes. Maybe she had finally snapped and she would turn into another Chad, walking around, proclaiming the house was her own and trying to hurt everyone who had the audacity to mismatch the curtains and the carpets.
“Chad’s actually helping them decorate, you can take it up with him if you want anything in particular done.” He didn’t know why he said that, it wasn’t like she care about his opinion. The only reason she was being less aggressive was because this was the basement and Thaddeus might have raised a fuss.
Her attitude still bothered him, her acceptanceor whatever the hell she played at. It annoyed him more than he wanted to admit. But if she was willing to play, he could join in their stupid dance.
“How’s Arthur?” He wanted to ask about the ever missing Violet too, but he was too tired and sad to even try. Vivien would simply gloat, happy that her daughter was away from the monster.
”No, no… this isn’t my house, I have no right to have anything in it anymore, I was just curious ‘tis all.” She didn’t want to look at him directly, it could of released something out of her that she did not want to be released, mostly anger and some part of it might of just been because she wanted to do something to him.
”Arthur’s good….. thanks for asking.” She didn’t really know why he was asking her about Arthur and she was a bit suspicious about it, there must of been a reason, but she let it slide this time. Like she said, she didn’t want any drama. ”We’ve been using good time of the nursery, even though it isn’t ours, what they don’t know won’t hurt them.”
She looked at him this time, nothing happened with her emotions and she was happy for that, but a little bit disappointed at it. ”What are you doing down here anyway ?” She didn’t really want to ask, but he was asking her questions and she felt the need to return the favour.
Arthur was asleep now, he normally fell asleep a couple of minutes after Viven started cuddling him, he was cute when he slept, he chicks would relax and he would sometimes suck his thumb, which warmed Vivien’s heart.
She exited the room and walked around the house. It was much different, than it previously was when she had lived there. There were some pieces of new furniture dotted around in places of the house, but it didn’t seem to match the house at all. Well that’s what Vivien thought anyway, she had somewhat of an eye for those types of things.
She was curious and made her way down into the basement, she wondered if they had changed it at all. It was still as pitch black as before and it was still the same level of difficulty to see down there. She couldn’t see a thing.
Tate had been spending his day in the basement, the darkness alluring as always. It wasn’t like there was anything up there for him. That was for the good people, for the worthy. The idea made him laugh, no one in that house, alive or dead could be seen as a good person, yet some believed they held the moral high ground.
Ben and Vivien were particular offenders. He wondered where she was at for the past week or so, Ben…well, Ben was getting busy with one of the home invaders that nearly killed his wife and daughter. All is forgiven when you die, apparently.
The door to the basement creaked and a small sliver of light hit the floor, next to him. He put his hand forward, letting the light touch it. It was a strange feeling to see that he didn’t disappear, like the darkness normally did.
He looked up and saw Vivien descending the stairs slowly. Her presence was unnerving, her lies still burning in his mind. Why did she feel the need to play a…mother when all she wanted was to use it all against him later on?
“Are you lost?” he asked, making his presence known. He didn’t want to be accused of anything nefarious if she discovered for herself that he was there. The accusations were getting tiresome.
It would be a lie, if Vivien had said that she didn’t jump when Tate had made himself known. She hadn’t seen him in a while and she didn’t really know is she was ready to see him… but she would have to bite the bullet and talk to him, she would have to do it eventually, even if she didn’t want to.
”No, I’m not lost.” She paused and looked around the basement, trying to locate him, it was quite difficult in the darkness. However, it was quite easier than she would of thought, the light from the top of the stairs was igniting him with light, and he stuck out like a sore thumb.
”I’m just checking around, and seeing what changes they made to the house, it seems like they made some changes in the living and dining room, can’t say that I like it all that much.” She was trying to be civil, she wasn’t in the mood for screaming and shouting and she would like some time in the house to stay that way, it always seemed better that way. Much more natural.
Arthur was asleep now, he normally fell asleep a couple of minutes after Viven started cuddling him, he was cute when he slept, he chicks would relax and he would sometimes suck his thumb, which warmed Vivien’s heart.
She exited the room and walked around the house. It was much different, than it previously was when she had lived there. There were some pieces of new furniture dotted around in places of the house, but it didn’t seem to match the house at all. Well that’s what Vivien thought anyway, she had somewhat of an eye for those types of things.
She was curious and made her way down into the basement, she wondered if they had changed it at all. It was still as pitch black as before and it was still the same level of difficulty to seed own there. She couldn’t see a thing.
Vivien had spent the last week or so with Arthur. She was waiting for things to happen, like Ben coming back from the great beyond, she was also waiting for the time were she could speak to Violet again, she agreed that she would wait for her and that’s exactly what she would do.
Everything in the nursery was changing, the family were getting ready for their baby, even though the woman was not far enough to have the baby, and the room was constantly changing, but she didn’t mind. She had things that she could entertain Arthur with, even if it were just small noises that he made, that made sure that Arthur was understanding at least the things that were going on. Even if they were never going to develop from that.
“She is still there, she is just invisible.” He was feeling juvenile and almost added a “duh” to the sentence. It was still plain as day that it was there.
“Sometimes you have to trust people to their own devices, but sometimes, when they mourn the loss of a blade more than the loss of their mother, there is a problem.” His voice was soft now, having lost all of his fight. She wouldn’t understand, she was…normal all her life.
“You wouldn’t get it, you’ve never done it, cutting, hurting yourself…it’s not something you can relate to. She lost a friend last night and you don’t even know it. But, whatever. Stay as you are, feel good about the fact that she isn’t there and doesn’t want to talk to you and just give up, it’s as good of an excuse as any.” He turned around and moved towards the door, he had had enough of her senselessness.
Vivien turned to look at Tate. How dare he say that see didn’t care about her own daughter. This is how it started, the night where he killed her…. again. He said something then Vivien turned on him and then it was lights out. If that needed to happen again, it would…
Vivien appeared in front of him and pushed him inside. ”Don’t you dare say that I don’t care about Violet…. I love her more than anything else in this world…. more than anyone in this world.
She walked over to the bookshelf again, not looking at Tate. She had said what she wanted to say to him and more. ”She gave me a note…. she said that she needs time, so that’s what I’ll do, I would do anything for her…. and that includes this…” She looked through the range of books on display, not caring whether Tate left or stayed. She hoped he would leave, but you never knew sometimes.
“Are you serious? Is this one of those hidden camera shows that Violet kept telling me about? Someone’s going to come out from behind a curtain and scream I’M A PUNK or something like that?”
He looked at her and shook his head in disbelief, she was really that deluded.
“You keep waiting for the three of you to talk? What’s wrong in just talking to her yourself? What was so hard, during all this time of you finding yourself, that you couldn’t just drop by her fucking room and ask her how she was? Aren’t you supposed to know when she’s not ok? Do you need a sign pointing to the scars on her wrists to tell you that she didn’t die a happy girl? That she didn’t live as a happy girl? Ben is the shittiest therapist in the world and the most deluded person I have ever met, present company excluded and you want him to fix things?”
He started pacing, grabbing his head in his hands, trying to quell the urge to strike her. He will not hit her! He will not hit her!
“Fuck you and your coping! You said my mother was shit…and she is, but what the fuck makes you better? You can’t find her? You aren’t looking hard enough…She is still there, just where you left her…In her room…God, Vivien…How thick are you?”
Vivien sighed and thought to herself. It’s like getting blood out of a stone. She wanted to scream at him, smack him maybe…. but she wouldn’t…. to much energy to do so.
”I must be pretty stupid and blind….. because when I’ve gone up there, guess what Tate…. she isn’t fucking there, don’t you even get it ? I don’t care what you say. I tried to talk to her…. multiple times, but she wouldn’t let me, now tell me…. how am I supposed to talk to he then ?”
Vivien shook her head. ”Wait, in fact…. don’t answer that, I know what you’re going to say anyway… it’s like a thing with you, quite predictable. Sometimes people need to be trusted to be alone…. I know it’s not the best thing, but when someone tells you to go away….. that means that they want to be alone…”
Vivien turned to look out the window again…. she was preparing for another attack off Tate, she was waiting to respond to it.
I love you to Violet…
Take as much time as you like, when you ready to talk and if you want to, I’ll be waiting for you. I’ve missed you so much.
Vivien.
P.S I’m really sorry Violet…. Again, I love you.
He listened to her talk, feeling the urge to punch her in the face grow. Was she kidding him or herself?
“Yes.” He noticed her confused look as he glanced briefly from the floor and added. “Yes, I think you are the kind of mother to let your daughter cry away and do nothing about it. For the past 3 weeks that’s all you’ve been doing. Since she died, since you died…that’s all you’ve been doing.
Even when she was alive THAT’S ALL YOU’VE BEEN DOING!” He took a deep breath, trying to find his calm once more, how blind was this supposedly good woman? Did she take memory pills that erased all that she did wrong, in the morning?
“She’s been cutting and I was there to help her, before all this shit started, she was depressed and I was there to help her as she cried or needed someone near. I have accepted my responsibility for all the shit I did, to you, to the others, why don’t you? Why do you still prance around this house like you did when you were alive and your daughter was dying in the other room?!”
He was genuinely confused by her…was she for real? The question kept rolling in his mind over and over again as her answers baffled him completely.
“I kept my end of the deal, stay away from you, from her…from everybody. But I see her suffer and I see you doing nothing and I can bet my afterlife that Ben is still missing, probably fucking Elizabeth or something and thinking you guys are the fucking Brady bunch!” He still didn’t look at her, fearing whatever he might see on her face, he was sure it wouldn’t be the regret that should’ve belonged there, but glee…pride? Spite?
He didn’t fear for himself, but if she would say one more word about how great their family was, he would’ve lost it.
She shaked her head. Everything that she had done, for the past few weeks was for her to cope…. she thought that she had done enough coping around, when she first died, but she didn’t. She needed to get her head straightened out before she did anything else, especially help someone.
”Ben is missing…. he said that we need to fix it… and we do, but all three of us need to talk…. together, but that’s not going to happen if he isn’t here.” She stood up, not walking towards Tate but the window in the study.
”I want to talk to her…. but she won’t let me, I don’t blame her, I would get all the awards and so would Ben…. the worst parents of the year…. it’s not got that certain ring to it, but it will do…”
”And I don’t prance around this house like everything is fine and dandy….. it’s a selfish thing to say but to help someone else, you first have to help yourself…”
As you wish :))
The joys of having a fake husband…. :)
Tate wandered up the stairs, he had stayed in the basement for hours, thinking, scheming, regretting his schemes and thinking some more. He had grown tired of that and decided to see something other than damp walls and constant semi-darkness.
He was supposed to be punished, but even criminals had better conditions. He saw Vivien lying on the couch, like she had no care in the world, while Violet was falling apart somewhere else in the house. The thought made him angry. She was supposed to be a protector, not this…whatever the fuck she was.
“You were supposed to be with her…you were supposed to be taking care of her…”He hissed venomously at the woman on the couch. He didn’t look at her anymore, afraid he might do something that he’ll end up regretting later. He feared more the fact that he might not regret it at all.
She heard his voice, the sound made her skin crawl and her body die in pain from seeing him. She looked up at him, he wasn’t looking at her….. good, it would be best that way. She listened to him spit out his words like he was spitting on someone he hated…. and for all intentional purposes, he could of done.
She didn’t stand up, but got herself up from her slumber on the couch and faced forward looking at the book shelves. She didn’t want this right now, not after Violet just basically kicked her out of her life at this point, but she needed to get invoved.
”You think I don’t care about my own daughter ? You think that I would just let her cry away and not do anything about it ?” She raised her voice. ”You think I like being this worthless person who can’t even look after her own daughter ?”
”She left again…. again, I know it’s all my fault, but she won’t let me see her and where the hell is Ben….” She wondered where he was, he was the one talking all about being a great family, and he wasn’t even here to enforce it…
Violet disappeared some time ago, shut her mother out and went way into the house. She wanted to apologise but whenever she tried to, Violet just vanished into thin air and she wouldn’t be able to find her again.
She scaled down the stairs and walked around the house for a while. She would of played the cello, but with the new family, she didn’t get the chance to. She sighed as she walked into the study…. or Ben’s place of working, but it was now no longer that.
She layed down on the couch that she saw before her. She rested her head, not closing her eyes. She just lay there, staring into deep thought. It couldn’t of been good.
“I don’t wanna talk.”
Violet hissed, resentful into the gloom of the bare bedroom, hardly chancing a glance at the one who promised so much and gave so little. After all of the shit she had been through, her mother was not there for her once. She was off with her father and rekindling their love. What more did she have to offer? Her life revolved around daddy dearest now. Violet hardly mattered.
Vivien, knew that she had let down Violet and she knew that Violet was feeling the same way. She took a tiny step forward, before realising that she had said that she didn’t want to talk, because of this she took a even tinier step backwards towards the door. ”If you don’t want to talk, I’m just going to sit her and wish that I was a better mother, there’s not point in wishing because there is no such thing and I have already passed the point f now return…”
A tearful face appeared on Vivien’s face as she knelt down to the ground. Sitting leaning in the door frame. She looked over at Violet a few times who was not giving her the satisfaction, but who could blame her….
“Go away.”
Violet muttered, gathering the pieces of the smashed razor from the floor. The fallen friend had rested there for hours now, beside the dried blood on the wall. Her blood. It wasn’t fair what Tate had done. He had taken away the only form of comfort in this isolated world.
Vivien didn’t know whether to go in or not. She was her daughter after all but it looked like she was horribly upset and it might make her worse. ”You have every right to tell me to go away…. but please Violet just talk to me, if it’s for one second I will listen to you and I will see if I can make you feel any better…. I know it’s not my place because I haven’t been here for you, but I’m sorry Violet and there isn’t any words in the world that can describe how I feel about myself because of the things that I have done to you…”
Vivien just looked at her. She was here, Ben wasn’t, that must of counted for something.
Oh god someone save me please.
*Somehow saves you…*
